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Monday, May 16, 2005

$100,000 Reward Offered for Missing Loch Ness Tooth 
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Forensics investigator Bill McDonald has announced a $100,000 reward for the return of a four-inch barbed shed tooth found lodged in the ribcage of a mutilated deer carcass on Loch Ness. The tooth, discovered by two American college students on Spring Break back in March, was confiscated by a local water bailiff and is now believed to be in possession of the Scottish Highland authorities.

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"The animal that left those tracks had to be 50-60 feet long," says McDonald. "In both cases, the species fits theories which I have been working on since 1993. The monster is not a friendly plesiosaur as locals might have us believe, but an amphibious fish that was trapped in Loch Ness back in the 1930s. This animal prefers the depths, has nocturnal eyes sensitive to daylight, and only surfaces during the winter months at night when the fish population drops in Loch Ness. I have interviewed several dozen locals who concur with the identity of this creature. It is unfortunate that the Scottish Authorities are refusing to cooperate, preferring to safeguard their tourist trade at the expense of science."

Check it out at lochnesstooth.com

posted by Prof. Hex at 4:39 PM

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